Your mother sucks milk in hell

It's 07:15 and I've just given the boy his morning milk. I'm rubbing his back in a nice circular motion to help him burp whilst shaking my head at the news presenter telling me it's gonna rain all day. But wait - the boy coughs once.. twice.. three times.

And on that third time he coughed extra hard and half his milk comes chucking out of his mouth. He coated himself and his shocked father in stinky milk and I had something like ten minutes to completely change him and myself before he was getting picked up.

God it smelled awful :(

Breaking the rules at 11 months

The great authority of the majority say that it's best your baby sleeps on his/her back and they're placed in the cot with their feet at the foot of the bed. I think this sounds fine.. if you baby sleeps on his/her back. My son likes sleeping on his side and rolls all over the blood place making putting a sheet over him difficult. I've adopted a strategy of only putting the sheet over him when I go to bed as he's usually settled into the "all night" position.

The problem is the little bugger's wriggled all the way up to the other end of the cot so I have to put the sheet that far up. Yeah, there's a chance that he'll wriggle down under the sheet during the night but I can't let him freeze and if I move him he wakes up and we're there for a while ;)

In saying that, he hasn't wriggled down yet and more often than not he kicks the sheet off anyway. It's also fun when he gets his legs trapped between the bars of the cot and can't free himself because he's asleep.

Dad to the rescue!!

He's fast approaching his first birthday so I'm gonna start trying to wean him off bottles and onto cups as well as giving him a spoon. Oh yes, let the messy fun commence :D

The mobile biting unit

My son can fully crawl now... well, on carpets anyway. On my laminate and my folks' wood floor he can't quite get one of his legs under so he kinda drags it like some kinda broken, crawling Action Man.

But on carpet he's a machine! I played fetch with him the other weekend and it was so funny because he did that freaky burst of speed thing that I've seen in the movies or on tv. And here I was thinking that was just a movie thing - see, ya learn something about parenting every day :D

He's also got a lot more teeth and decided to show his daddy just how many he had and also just how strong he could bite. I almost lost my finger :( I even screamed when he bit into the top of my pec. He got a shock mind you and hasn't done it since but christ was that painful!

Beware when they get teeth on both the top and bottom for they know not what they do.

Face down NOW!!

My son doesn't sleep like a normal baby (I think) which shouldn't surprise me since I know what stock he comes from but still, sometimes it causes problems. He loves falling asleep on me and now sleeps face down in his cot. This, naturally, has me worrying like a woman since I think "oh god what if he can't breathe because he's face down on the mattress?" then my male brain kicks in and says "well, he'll simply move his head" and I'm fine.

But I put him to bed on his back and he bursts into tears because a)he doesn't like sleeping on his back and b)he doesn't want to go to bed. Tears become floods and my fairly tough heart starts cracking because he's properly upset so I go pick him up and as soon as he's on my chest, he's asleep. I give him five minutes, lay him back into the cot on his back and guess what - yup, he's wide awake and screaming at me.

This repeated itself quite a few times one night 'til I put him down on his stomach and rubbed his back. He did scream but it was that over-tired kinda screaming that dies in volume with every breath.

I checked on him just before I went to bed and found him up at the top of his cot, still face down but sleeping on his knees and elbows! It's hard trying to muffle laughter when you're trying to be a serious dad :p