Learning new tricks

I learned very early on about the criminal nature of nappy changing a newborn baby. We had a sort-of routine where I would change his nappies during the night letting his mother get some more sleep and she'd feed him during the night letting me get some sleep. I think it was the first night that I discovered my super-boy could do a great wee trick. I was already aware from long-winded tales from others about how they tended to pee on you when you weren't looking but my boy wanted to be better than baby average (musta got that from his ol' man)

At something o'clock in the morning (all I remember was that no one was awake outside and even the bats had called it a night) when I popped him down on his little changing mat (a god-send, you gotta get one) I opened up his wet nappy and went to get a bit of cotton wool (you'll end up begging to use the baby wipes). When I swung back round he grinned at me.

I know it was dimly lit and I know that one of my eyes was semi open having been glued with with sleep but I know he grinned at me! He squirted poo at me! Not content to pee on his ol' man, oh no, my boy had to project poo up at me. And how the hell can you aim that stuff? Hell, I didn't even know you could squirt it!

I quickly developed a habit of leaving him in his nappy until I'd hear his bum explode for a third time and only THEN would I try to set a new land-speed record changing his nappy.