Perhaps he could be used for biological warfare?

Anyway, last night I mad two tactical errors that cost me dearly. My son was being funny with me when I got him back to the 'zero and no matter what I tried, he just screamed.. and screamed.. and screamed. He even unveiled his new scream which was even worse that the jaw-wrenching one as it sounded like he was in some awful pain and I felt my heart-rate quicken quite a bit - damn this genetic link. He eventually cried himself out and fell asleep through exhaustion. After a feed, he was in his bed all sound and happy.

He normally starts to wake up at 2am ish and then by 2:30 I'm shoving a bottle in his mouth. 2AM comes and I'm up but he isn't. So I go back to sleep. 3AM comes and I'm up but he's still sleeping soundly. 4AM comes and he finally wakes up and I know he's up because I can hear his arse exploding six ways from sunday. So I warm the milk, bring through a towel to change him on my bed (his mother does it this way and she's more experienced than I so I figured it was obviously a good idea to mimic her). I take his nappy off and it's FULL of shite, liquidy shite too (but that's normal) and I realise that some of it's probably gone up his back and onto his suit so a full change is required.. at 4 in the morning :(

I leave him on my towel with his bum clean, go through to the livingroom, pickup a spare sleepsuit, come back to my room and find him positively grinning at me.

The towel's now wet
My duvet's now wet
The quilt's now wet

Yup, he'd went for a mammoth pee all over the place, even reaching some distance too (makes me proud that) hitting my shorts on the floor by my chair. So my room smells of faint urine and I need to wash all the linen AND a chunk of my quilt - not fun. And to top it all off, the poo never went up his back at all, it just looked like that because I used his nappy to take some the crap off his bum and thought "uh oh". Sleep deprevation can do this to you.

Rule number 1: Never EVER leave a baby for any length of time without a nappy on. Yes, it may look cute and you may only be a second but a helluva lot can go wrong in a second

Rule number 2: Don't change them on your bed. Even IF you've followed rule number 1, you're asking for trouble.